She enjoys her coffee before the chaos. Soon it’s “Mom, I’m late for school! Mom, breakfast! Honey, my tie!” She’s a juggler, a whirling dervish,
until
the old tape recorder turns off. The voices stop.
Ben’s passed on. The kids are away at college.
A solitary breakfast awaits her.
***
Photo by Ashutosh Sonwani from Pexels
Ohh, isn’t that really sad?! Amazing how impactful you make a few lines!
Thank you so much, Kala!
Loneliness plays upon a person;s psyche and tries to recreate the old sights and sounds. Poignant story.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2019/09/child-labor.html
Thanks, Kalpana!
Very nice contrast between the first part and the second. The shift in emotions worked really well.
Thank you so much, Christine!
I like how you manage to say so much in a few words. You’ve depicted the mundane routine many take for granted but only realise the loss of when it no longer exists.
Thank you, Sanch. Every weekday morning when my daughter is being a sloth, I keep reminding myself that some day I’ll miss this, lol!
Eventually, it happens to us all. Very insightful Hema.
Thank you, Sue!
I really like the shift in voice and life stage between the first and second half. That worked well.
Thank you, Asha!
Hema, you always astound me with your microfiction skills. I loved the tonal difference between the start and the end. <3
Thank you, Mel! You’re so kind ❤️
The twist was perfect. After the rush of the opening, the solitariness comes through well. Very good piece.
Thank you so much!
I was expecting “Mom chaos!” slice of life and hoping I was wrong– Which I was! I liked the sad twist and how you illustrated her loneliness with those flat, factual lines.
So glad to hear you liked the twist! Thanks for reading!
That last line is particularly poignant. I enjoyed the contrast between ending and beginning and felt sad for the MC.