“Dear E, it’s not you,…”
Save draft. Hate yourself.
Hit backspace. Stare at blank screen. Delete draft.
Chew dinner, smile at her jokes, scream inside, swallow words.
Kiss her forehead. Tuck her in bed.
Install new app. Swipe right.
Gulp down guilt at breakfast. Carry on as if nothing’s changed.
Aww.. You’ve etched out the inner battle so well. Sometimes, we want to take the easy way out rather than bite the bullet.
Ouch, this must hurt if she ever found out. So he’s left her emotionally, but not really. The cad and the coward. I hope he finds an axe-murderer as his match on Tinder.
Okay, I got carried away but that’s because of the writing 😉
A sad but too often true situation.
Ugh–I have to tell you, my stomach dropped and my body went cold reading this because it’s so good! The fragmented delivery makes it very matter-of-fact which gives this allusion, at least to me, of a computer program, especially since this piece revolves so heavily around technology. It also sort of makes me wonder if the main character lives with Aspergers. Maybe? And you’ve delivered this beautiful, sad, vivid image. Superb writing!
Haven’t visited your blog in a while!
The short, abrupt sentences – did you try that style intentionally for this challenge?
I left a comment here but I can’t find it now! 🙁
Leaving isn’t easy. Well sketched.
While usually it’s a mistake to avoid using complete sentences for an entire story, the IKEA-directions unsympathetic tone here actually helps to add an additional humanizing layer, showing the way the character isolates feeling from action.
I love this, Hema. It’s so believable. Loved the swallowed words line. Fantastic image!
Oh, those choppy sentences sounded like those button clicks and indecision. Not only that, but a dear john letter? Ouch! Better left deleted!
I like this, enjoyed reading between the lines.
It’s been a while I commented here, even though I have always read your posts. But I am back for good now, and gearing up for a binge-read/comment session, so forgive me if there is a deluge of comments here. I promise I am not stalking you, only catching up. 🙂
As far as this post is concerned – it was amazing, as always. I have to confess my thoughts aligned with Shy’s on this one. Especially because this is one area I feel strongly about – people being so unfeeling and self serving. Ugh.